NOTYEATS

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THE BLOB AND THE TAPEWORM - TWO POLITICAL FRIENDS 

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© Sean Notyeats 2017

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This is the story of two  Ministers, showing their true colours after the 2016 UK referendum  result, which showed a small majority in favour of the UK leaving the European Union. 

 

A nonsense poem  inspired by Edward Lear's "The Owl and the Pussy cat ".

 

The Blob and the tapeworm were all at sea

At the end of the Brexit vote

An immediate dash with lefties to bash

Would secure their right to gloat

The Blob looked up to the stars above 

Then thought of his ancient scar

Oh loathsome worm, but worm you star

What a fickle creature you are, you are

What a fickle creature you are

 

Worm said to the Blob, "you over-sexed slob, 

How buffoon-like the message you bring!

Oh let us not tarry, this boat must us carry

To shore and electoral swing!"

The Worm then smiled and tried to be mild

His rival for now would be friend

But come the last shout, the knives would be out

And he would get under Blob's skin, Blob's skin

And he would get under Blob's skin

 

Dear Blob this is chilling, but I must be killing 

Your chance of the number one spot

But I'm under your skin and still put the knife in

OH what an incredible clot 

All was appalling till May came calling

And threw a lifeline to the Blob 

His poison chalice, he took without malice 

And tried to get on with the job, the job

And tried to get on with the job

 

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SHROUDED IN FOG

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© Sean Notyeats 2017

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This is the story of a very pleasant but functionally useless  Leader of the Labour Party.

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(Before  2017 UK General Election)

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A nonsense poem based around the old Folk Song Lillebalero

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There was an old Lefty shrouded in fog

Labour polemics nonsense and farce

Who wanted to rule, but his time was past

Labour polemics nonsense and farce

Labour, labour bound to be failure

By a large margin because they’re so daft

To stay with a leader, useless old pleader,

Tory hegemony will come to pass

 

And now Tory policies that are in draft

Labour polemics, nonsense and farce

Will split the nation into two halves 

Labour polemics nonsense and farce

Labour, labour what you could savour 

If navel gazing was bypassed

Now look to extinction, through lack of conviction

For now seems too  late for the die is cast  

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HIT ME WITH YOUR STATIS STICK

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A nonsense poem inspired by Ian Dury and the Blockheads

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© Sean Notyeats 2017

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Hit me with your statis stick ,hit me , hit me 

I want a really slow Brexit, hit me,hit me

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No shades of Grey to come my way 

Make it slow I want to pay

Exquisite pain for years to come 

Exchanged for a monstrous sum

 

No defence or schools improvement 

That's the way of Tory movement

 From the bowel and not the head 

Sod the French hit me instead

 

We can all tell rant from wrong

God Save the Queen should be our song

Fleur of Scotland might attract

Bring it on our mood is black 

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Why try repairs when naught is broken 

The country's fit, the Tories choke on,

Unite the party, sod the rest

Little England is surely best?  

 

The world has changed, the UK static

Yet we think we're democratic 

No PR so where's the choice?

We all need to find a voice

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Hit them with your statis stick, hit them, hit them

Get two thirds to vote Brexit, hit them, hit them

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We need the Tories like the plague

Who wants Labour, they are so vague

Those for one nation should unite

To clear the decks of Left and Right

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The old parties have had their day

We the voters should not pay

To keep key parasites in power

When new ideas they need to flower

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Politicians are not all bad

They are only human and it's sad

To hear only short term views

Drastic actions would be news

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If Brexit is to last for years

Beat me, and I'll shed more tears

The pleasure of the pain will cease 

When new parties are released

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Hit them with your Statis stick, hit them, hit them

Hit them till new concepts click, hit them, hit them

The EU it must take some blame  

But not for self inflicted pain 

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THE CONFEDERATION OF IRISH STATES ?

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Loosely based on  the old folksong Danny Boy

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© Sean Notyeats 2017

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Oh Ulster men your plight is quite appalling

Your entrenched views could start a deadly slide

The more delay and mindless point scoring

With no strategy you’ll not survive

 

But think ye back to Good Friday Agreements

The sense of hope cast warfare to one side

Oh loyalists it’s time to grasp the moment

And write a constitution all abide

 

Oh loyalists you have the greater numbers

But time is short for you to make the change

To be part of a confederation

To ensure your way of life’s maintained

 

But think in terms of being part of Europe

If the UK is little England led

With a  free Scotland in the ascendant

The UK as we’ve known her will be dead

 

A constitution free of religion

Set in stone for the next 50 years

With two cultures and two languages

Then this we hope  should allay most fears

  

You should look now to Canada for wisdom

Where groups of  French and English co-reside

Take the best of what they have to offer

And then join the CIS with pride

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 LEFT US AGOG

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© Sean Notyeats 2017

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This is the story of  the transformation of a seemingly very pleasant but functionally useless  leader of the Labour Party into an Election Campaign Hero

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A nonsense poem based around the old Folk Song Lillebalero

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(After  2017 UK General Election)

 

There was an old Lefty made us agog

Labour polemics nonsense and farce

Whom we all thought wasn’t up to the job

Labour polemics nonsense and farce

Labour, labour not now a failure

Media savvy ag’in  all the odds

Turned an old pleader into a leader

Complacent Tories were left aghast

 

Now key Tory policies that were in draft

Labour polemics, nonsense and farce

Will split that party into two halves

Labour polemics nonsense and farce

Labour, labour what you could savour

If excess spending was bypassed 

Now avoid contradiction, speak with conviction 

Grasp your last chance, do not let it pass 

  

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CLUELESS IN LONDON

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© Sean Notyeats 2017

 

Labour and Tory in despair
As they build castles in the air
Clueless they look everywhere
All reference points have gone

 

But now they even blame the Sun
Casting doubt on everyone
So many things they should have done
But hubris clouds the way

 

I've looked at polls from both sides now
From up and down and still somehow
It's just delusions  I recall
I really can’t trust polls at all

 

Unite the party, blow the rest  
Cameron thought he knew best
Complacently he failed the test
The country split two ways

 

The Europhobes were next to fly

Like Icarus they reached the sky

The only choice to do or die

They fought amongst themselves

I've looked for truth from both sides now
No lessons learned but still somehow
MP’s delusions I recall
To them a safe seat is all…

 

The young they are now feeling proud,
To chant "Corbin" right out loud
A campaign ace to please the crowds
Could there be a new way?

 

Now old and young are acting strange
The old Brexit, the young Remain.
Now’s the time for all to change 
Westminster’s had its day.

 

I’ve looked at crowds from both sides now

And old ideas still please somehow

New packaging is now the key

For a Pyric victory

  

Brexit is bound to be wrong

If made up as we go along

Proof of principle we need

So that we can proceed

 

A referendum rerun will

For Ephobes be a bitter pill

Two thirds of votes on rerun day

For either faction should hold sway

 

Plebiscites for both sides show

An inability to grow

Into a trusted hall of laws

Always fair, what’er the cause

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The State of the Union

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© Sean Notyeats 2017

 

We’re for the Union  man,

Amazed at what we can

Impose on the rest

Because we know best

Even with no master plan

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We will surely get our way

Clear as night will follow day

There will be some  fooled

As there are no rules

Other  views are pure hearsay

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Into the maelstrom we will fly

As if the voters want to die

Surely as they sink

You’d hope they’d think

To seek help from passers by

 

They told us that things would change

But to some this seemed deranged

So to the abyss

For takers of the piss

Only pure hearts then remain

 

In the quest  for higher pay

The Brussels bubble lost its way

Purest  thought worth naught

For World Wars fought

The Brexotic won the day

 

Politicians they seek power,

But then relations sour ,

As the pull of greed

Leaves those in need

More resentful by the hour

 

Mrs T she stayed too long

But her will at least was strong

While narcisstic Blair

Could only stare as

He knew not right from wrong

 

The cuckoo named Farage

Made shrewd remarks then charged

Away from the fan

As he had no plan

The policy void enlarged.

 

There were no words to assuage

The Dog and Duck enraged

Inspired by the mail

They could not fail

As the xenophobes engaged

 

An unprepossessing bar maid

After one beer looked quite staid

But a further five

Brought her alive

And Miss Universe was made.

 

Six beers on Brexit day

Will leave future folk to pay

As the soon to be dead

Make a picture of dread

For the young who have no say

 

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Brexit  - The Miners' Plight  © Sean Notyeats 2017

In past times we worked the mines
For a fair day's pay
The bosses recognised their plight
When United we could  strike
No intimidation e're came our way

World events brought discontent
For hitech it held sway
As new working methods
New deep seams they would delay
Or to mines vast, the open cast
Our  jobs would stray

Those of the right caused us to strike
There seemed no other way
Our brothers in the TUC
Tried to shape our destiny
But with legal might allied to spite
We lost our way

Our village that once used to thrive
Became an empty shell
Brothers without other skills
Had to endure an idle hell
As drink eroded social norms
The dole queue swelled
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In the end we did defend
Our rights as mining folk
But trendy bars are now the scars
Manned by Poles, I do not joke
The seeds of xenophobia
Are now provoced

The foreign folk soon got the v o t e
And jobs with lower pay
Then grabbed our social housing
And we the locals had no say
Until the Brexiteers came by
To Save the Day

The London toffs could only scoff
As our  real pay declined
Unless you were  a banker
Where bonus levels were redlined
The right to gloat died with the vote
For Brexit kind   

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Brexit …When to stop digging © Sean Notyeats 2017


You can follow my path
You can wear my shoes
You can talk my talk
and guarantee to lose

 

Tell me how to dig deeper
                                   
We can dig real deep
We'll see it through T

That's the message for me
and the message for  you

Tell me how to dig deeper

 We are in a deep hole,
the sides are steeper
 We behave like moles
We can only dig deeper

Tell me how to dig deeper

The daylights gone
with no light to guide us
Why continue on
there is no purpose

We can only dig deeper

 You can't see
the wood for the trees                      
 You set the forest alight
as you tried to please

Tell me how to dig deeper
 
You  burned your  bridge
but we aren't deceive

Blind to reason you
you can no longer breath

You can only dig deeper
You can only dig...

 

 

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PIER GROUP PRESSURE  *  (c) Sean Notyeats 2017

 

Straight and true, the train gently clattered towards the sunshine of the south

 

Cafes, b and b's and fun fairs gradually became specs left behind in the cold north 

 

They were travelling towards the future or so they hoped

 

There was a  squeal as brakes were prematurely applied

 

They had at least moved closer to Europe 

 

But the end of Southend Pier  was far enough for now

 

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* The town of Southend in Essex claims to have the longest pier in the country. The pier is in excess 1 mile long with a small train providing  comfortable transport  for visitors.

 

 

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Volt Farse (c) Sean Notyeates 2017

Try climbing a waterfall in Summer
Or flying in a yellow submarine
You are incensed as incense makes no sense
The chocolate fireguard is covered
by smoke obscuring the mirrored ceiling
The bearded man provided clarity
Straight bananas only come in Winter
Euros fall from the sky as Barca buys
There's Balkan peace as Greece pays all debts
Germans and French scour the Ouija board
The Dutch and Danes prod the cadaver bored
Exorcists lie exhausted, still no news
Then a volt from the blue, Brexit awakes
Sits bolt upright then slumps back to torpor 
 

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“Periphery" (c) Sean Notyeates 2017

In time of peace the Faroe Islands are peripheral
In the far north west of  the European space 
In time of war they are central                                 
To containment of the Bear's navy                   

In times of peace over the centuries Ireland was peripheral
In the far west of  the European space                 
In the Dark Ages it was central in  preserving God's word 
Then  came the Vikings  and its Bible's were  plundered

When the Roman Empire split into East and West
Christianity became central to both
Only to be reversed in the east  by the  rise of Islam
And so confined the faith  to the periphery of Asia Minor 

The force of events can transform a Periphery into a Centre 
The Roman Empire and the Roman Church provided stability
Until Barbarian hordes and a rebel monk caused fracture 
There is every reason to value structure as a moderator


Is the EU standing at its own Vienna Gates
Confronting populist hoards and displaced waves of humanity?
In the  West, history lasts as long as the oldest take to die
While the Bear long remenbers its empire in the east and the west

The EU will implode under its own contradictions unless
The Brussels Bubble can change its shape
To reflect it's place in the world
And allow its constituent parts to see each other better

The EU needs to be reborn as a multilayered entity that Allows variable development with coherence and vision;
A voluntary structure of unity through consent
Could yet achieve the security afforded by Rome but without an Empire
 

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IF YOU SHUT YOUR EYES IT WONT GO AWAY

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Sing along to the tune of "The Holly and the Ivy"

 

The EU and the UK
Both concepts overblown
With undelivered promises
The seeds of doubt are sown

The rising of the Euro
And the falling of the Pound
We all trust our leaders
To keep our money safe and sound

The EU bears a burden
The result of which they dread
To give support to refugees
Or  suffer millions dead

The rising of the Euro
And the falling of the Pound
We all trust our leaders
To keep our money safe and sound

The EU looks at Brexit
Their  members in denial
That the UK's full now
As goodness turns to bile

The rising of the Euro
And the falling of the Pound
We all trust our leaders
To keep our money safe and sound

The fall in UK income
As business cheers decline
Leaders with no vision
Should for our good resign

The rising of the Euro
And the falling of the Pound
We all trust our leaders
To keep our money safe and sound

The UK acts as touchstone
One size for all can't work
Modify Four Freedoms
Or fragmentation lurks

The rising of the Euro
And the falling of the Pound
We all trust our leaders
To keep our money safe and sound

    
    
   

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